When I was in college, I madly fell in love with a guy from my class. I had completed primary and secondary in girls-only Catholic schools and wasn’t very used to be among boys. Also, being the only Dutch (read: tall, big and to some extend weird) among all these petite, ultra female Latinas, I wasn’t the beacon of self-confidence. When this (popular) guy set his eyes on me, I was beyond happy.
Until one day, to my total surprise, he decided to end the relationship. It felt like somebody pulled the rug from under my feet, and instead of falling on the ground, I fell into a black hole. I found out that my best friend was spreading a false rumour, that he bought it, and together they talked our mutual friend into taking sides—all of this before he broke up with me.
All of a sudden I had no boyfriend, no BFF, didn’t know who my friends were and who I could trust. Also, I was convinced all my college mates had taken the side of my boyfriend. I felt very much alone and with a heart broken into thousand pieces.
What I remember about that night is that, for the first time ever, I felt hate.
I became so scared about the intensity of this feeling that I went to sleep in my parent’s room. I was 19 years old then.
The sadness and the disorientation set in. I stopped eating chocolate (which in my case is pretty telling!) and went through each day in zombie-mode. I attended classes, freaking out every time I entered the college grounds, feeling the judgmental looks of the people around me and at the same time felt such a deep sadness I had a hard time keeping my head high and not dragging my feet.
Life went on like that until the TV teacher gave us a group assignment and I was forced to insert myself among a new group of mates I hadn’t had the incentive to meet because I was so comfy with my group.
In the beginning, I kept a low profile in the group and didn’t show initiative, as not to stir the waters. Then a girl in the group came to me and said: “I always wondered what the hell you saw in that guy. You have a sense of humour, and you are smart and kind. That guy has an ego the size of a house!”
This was an eye-opener! People were wondering what I saw in him! They weren’t busy judging me!
After this ice-breaking comment, I felt more confident to show the real me and started to give the best I had to the group and our assignment. We had great fun completing the task and got a 9/10 for our work.
What has this to do with the present COVID-19 challenge?
First is that you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions you haven’t experienced before, and this may push you into a whirlwind of questions, paralyse you, or like in my case, feed the mind gremlins.
You feel disoriented because everything that was the synonym of normal isn’t there anymore.
In some ways, what you thought were the pillars of your life (or business) fell apart, and you need to build back from scratch.
Everything is so uncertain! How will everything look after this has passed?
I can’t tell you how it will look like. What I can tell you it certainly isn’t going to be the same.
How to get out of zombie-mode?
Focus on the positive outcomes. I indeed lost a lot as a result of the breakup, but I also gained a lot: resilience, a new group of loyal friends and not less important: shed some weight as I stopped eating chocolate.
Do not quarantine your business! I isolated myself and fed the mind gremlins and by doing so extended the duration of my sadness. During challenging and uncertain times, it’s absolutely essential that you carefully select and remain active in online groups so you can stay plugged-in to others who share your challenges and goals and you can support each other.
K.A.D everything. To make the best of the time you have now available as you work from home, school the kids, and deal with different interruptions than you are used to, you need to make hard decisions upfront in terms of what you need to get done. Decide whether to Kill (stop doing), Automate or Delegate from your to do list as quickly as possible for maximum results and time & cost savings.
Ask for help. If you realize that you are stuck somewhere and it is because you lack the knowledge, stop dwelling on it and reach out for help.
Stay in the fight. Above all else, the one thing you can control is effort. No external event or situation is more potent than the focused and committed actions you take each and every day to generate new sales. This could mean more content, emails, phone calls, or whatever it takes. The only way to lose is to quit!
Benefit from giving your business marketing a refresh!
As result of this pandemic there will be a shift in the way people market their business.
I invite you to take advantage of my complimentary 20-min marketing session where we will address one marketing question or block you may be experiencing and when removed will help you to move on. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.